… called “marriage”. So here’s how it works, you’re a guy or a girl and you’ve just gotten married. The goal of the game is to expand the awesomeness of your lives mutually and maintain a peaceful, yet exciting household. In order to do this there are two point systems, his and hers. In order to achieve the winning conditions the couple must maintain a point difference that is manageable enough to keep angry fallouts to a minimum and succeed in creating an awesome family.
His point system is really based on a complex system of task definition. Points are earned based on each task’s time consumption, financial investment or gain, difficulty rating, and effort and attention requirements. Therefore when the man goes to work, this is at least a thousand point process considering this is 8 hours of his life just to start. Then he has to deal with all of the other variables like workload, co-workers, and management. In all by the time he gets home he has easily awarded himself at least 1 million points just to get up, go to work and come directly home. And so by the time he is home he a) wants dinner and b) wants to play video games.
In stark contrast by the end of the day, a woman has awarded the same gentleman in the above paragraph exactly 3 points. He woke up, one point. He went to work, one point. He came home, one point. Meanwhile she has also earned 3 points for the same exact things. In my household, since my wife (in the game 
) works from home (WFH, FTW), she has also probably fed the cats, washed some dishes, straightened a room, and done the laundry. This gives her a grand total of 7 points by the end of the day.
If you’re keeping track, the man of the house thinks the score is 1 million to meh – well, he probably hasn’t bothered to give her a score. While the lady of the house thinks the score is 3 to 7. The real trick of the game then is to manage the discrepancies in the point systems. This turns out to be really easy to do if done in a well-planned strategy for each party.
For the man the best strategy is to keep things real, and keep things small. While only receiving one point for 8 hours of work and devoted faithfulness may seem like a huge disservice, this one point system also works for itty-bitty acts of thoughtfulness directed to his wife. So the man’s strategy involves two major tactics – keep the size and time of the task to a manageable minimum and always be spontaneous and thoughtful. For example, when buying roses, one rose will get you the exact number of points from the lady as a dozen roses – one. So, buy one rose. But, if you just buy one rose everyday for the rest of your life, at some point the lady will not be as inclined to give you any points. Summarily, do little, spontaneous things that communicate to her that you are actively considering her during the course of your day. This is a winning strategy!
The woman has a very simple strategy despite the man’s complex algorithm’s for point acquisition. In effect, start out by being thoughtful and spontaneous, if that fails, go big, and if that fails, sex. Though you may find that skipping the first and landing on the third will just work faster.
By following these strategies the man and woman of the house will maintain a peaceful co-existence. The most important aspect of a peaceful household is that both the husband and the wife can be free to and encourage each other to expand, explore and enjoy all of their interests and hobbies.
p.s. I earned exactly 1 point for 637 words. Just sayin’.
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